Crank Saw
Idea for a “Crank” & “Saw” crossover movie tentatively called “Crank Saw”:
After his legendary survival in Crank’s 1 & 2, superhuman Chev Chelios ends up being kidnapped by the government to be studied in a lab. In order to regain his freedom he must agree to work for the government as an agent. The government assigns him to take down the infamous Jigsaw Network. A global network of deranged individuals that kidnap people from all around the world and then put them through hellish trials in order to earn their freedom and appreciate life. Most die and the network always vanished by the time government agents get to it. Chev is sent to guard a prominent national leader whose been targeted for such a kidnapping. It’s his job to take down the organization and find the man in charge. When he does it will shock viewers as to who and what is in charge.
During the course of the film Chevy gets snared in the Jigsaw trap and after realizing who he is they pull a classic Crank number on him. You know some body part is removed or maybe he’s poisoned and he has to do crazy stuff to stay alive. Also Amy Smart has public sex with him at some point.
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What’s Your Favorite Apocalyptic Scenario?
Which Apocalypse Would Be the Most Fun? — powered by Cracked.com
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Alien Hand Syndrome
Welcome to the five stages of reading Alien Hand Syndrome: Astonishment: This is amazing! Insecurity: I’m a smart person— how could I never have heard of this before? Panic: Please, don’t let it end. Gratitude: Great!—and look, there are over 90 more essays where that one came from. And Zeal: You won’t believe what I just read.
Collected and curated by Alan Bellows and his team at DamnInteresting.com, with over 400,000 unique visitors a month, this is the stuff nightmares are made of, and no one will be able to stop reading: Giant Carnivorous Centipedes; Mike, the Headless Chicken; The Exploding Lakes of Cameroon; The Swirling Vortex of Doom; Secret Agent Cyborg Cats; Fiery Balls of Naga; The Deepest Hole; The Terrifying Toothpick Fish; and, of course, Alien Hand Syndrome—a disorder wherein a person’s hand develops a “will of its own,” unbuttoning shirts, grabbing at the steering wheel, tossing away cigarettes, and in some cases actually attacking its host.
Most entries are full-blown narratives, complete with illustrations—for example, pointing out step-by-step how “The Halifax Disaster” unfolded. Other entries examine short-take anomalies—such as unusual drug side effects, including the antidepressant Clomipramine (spontaneous orgasm upon yawning), the hormone Oxytocin (increases one’s generosity), the medicine for Parkinson’s disease, Ropinirole (compulsive gambling), and Viagra (priapus syndrome, with a remote chance of gangrene curable only through penectomy—say no more). Click Here To Get The Book.
Topics: Unusual Books | No Comments »
Ever Wanted A Zombie Torso Sticking Out Of Your Front Lawn?
I know many of you have dreamed of it. Dreamed of being the envy of your neighbors as Halloween rapidly approaches. You salivate as you imagine the screams of horror from trick o treaters and old ladies wandering past with their walkers. Let the dream of having this fine zombie torso rising from the haunted soil of your damned lawn come true. Let his glowing red eyes scare the ever loving hell out of you as you get your paper in the morning. Click here to make the magic of the living dead enter your life now as it was destined to be from the day you were born. Oh yeah you know it’s true!
Topics: Halloween, Halloween Props, Trick O Treat, Zombies | No Comments »
Zombie Blood Acts As An Energy Drink For Humans
Hey who knew? Zombies have been one of the rarest resources and therefore the most difficult to tap into for all their medicinal benefits until now! Finally medical and scientific advancements in Zombie farming, aka Zombie Husbandry, have given us Zombie Blood Energy Drinks in IV pouches. Each 100ml IV pouch packs protein, vitamins, electrolytes very similiar to living, or once-living human Blood. You will love the fresh rush of supernatural like energy and feel good knowing that you’re being green and recycling (as in using natural resources). The savory lime flavor is actually really good and something we can’t seem to get enough of although it’s odd that Zombie blood tastes like lime. These claims have not been endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration (Human or Zombie based). Click Here To Purchase Your Fine Bag Of Zombie Blood Now!
Topics: Energy Drink, Zombies | No Comments »
