Things That You Never Knew Existed

Ah yes it's that time of year again as we give thanks for the resurrection of our big ass almighty Holy royal Lord Jesus through the miracle of the Easter Bunny. His real name of course is Eggbert Easter a human rabbit hybrid brought about by highly advanced Roman Empire genetic engineering experiments. His legendary bravery in the attempt to save Jesus is well known. He hurled colored eggs at the Romans to save Jesus for Jesus was the one who released him from the Roman labs. What a slap in the face it must of been for the Romans to have their own creation fight against them. Praise the Easter Bunny for spending 3 days in the tomb with Jesus using his amazing intellect and scientific prowess to reanimate Jesus using a special mix of various genetically altered eggs. The zombie Jesus rose and gave all humankind the hope it needed to live onward. God bless the bunny and Jesus too!