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The Amazing Adventures Of Ken Jennings
Hear the amazing stories of the biggest winner in Jeopardy history Summer 2004 Sometime during the summer a gang of punks tried to take down Ken in the Jeopardy parking lot and he beat the living hell out of them old school style. They learned the hard way that Ken's knowledge includes the various martial arts that facilitate the protection of his prized brain. Ken was also spotted with Keanu Reeves at local 7-11 where they both thwarted a robbery attempt. Some report gun fire taking place and that the bullets were stopped in mid-air. Its unconfirmed as to whether Ken or Keanu stopped them using Matrix like powers. October 2004 Ken's brain powers grow more
with each passing day. He has begun to outgrow the need to actually engage in
hand to hand combat. He now has Matrix like powers. Ken uses the power of his
pure thought to control his surroundings which he has come to realize are
nothing more than pure thought at its most fundamental level. He simply raises
his hand in front of him saying the word "No" and he is able to repel
attackers and incoming projectiles by manipulating the space/time continuum
surrounding him. During the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions he was spotted by
unconfirmed sources in Iraq taking on insurgents single handedly. Rocket
launchers and machine guns are not going to cut it boys. Just lay down your arms
and surrender to Jennings while you still have a chance. As you can imagine the
government is quite interested in Ken's power, but not even November 2004 The other day they took money
from Ken. I think it was $2000 or something. The judges determined later in the
game that his answer was wrong because he added to much to the answer. If you
looked closely you could tell they cut a scene out. I saw the pirated video and
right after Alex tells him this Ken jumps over his console. I mean he jumps
really high up into the air with his arms extended matrix style. He kicks Trebek
in jaw, and the two engage in quite a battle royale. I knew of Ken's martial
arts skills but I was surprised how well Alex held his own. Unfortunately he
eventually was forced into submission by the power of Jennings. At that point
about 12 security guards made it to the stage and began to engage Jennings in
battle as the other two contestants cowered in fear behind their consoles. The
fight was spectacular and was reminiscent of the Neo Vs. multiple Smiths fight
in Matrix 2 as more guards kept coming onto the stage. While this was all going
on I could see Trebek off to the side taking swigs from a bottle of whiskey
while medics tended to his wounds and make-up artists began covering it up. Soon
police began to join the guards on the stage as the panicked audience was
evacuated from the studio. A few guys remained in the audience rooting Ken
onwards as his attackers grew to about 50-60 in number. You could finally see
that Ken was getting a bit overwhelmed as some of the guards got a few lucky punches
in and the police night sticks and stun guns didn't help any. Then Ken ripped a
metal pole from the set, twirled it around so fast that it made quite a loud
whistling noise and extended his hand motioning all of them to come get some. He
began It has be previously reported that Alex and Ken have been drinking buddies for quite a few months now. They've been seen at several LA taverns knocking back every hard liquor in the book, engaging in bar room brawls where they always dominate and always leaving with the hottest ladies. Perhaps fighting side by side with Ken is why he stood up to him so well. I tell you these guys really know how to live!
Note: Ken was unable to use his full mental power during this fight because his attackers kept coming at him so quickly not to mention the fact that he may not have wanted to display that on camera for various reasons. November 08, 2004 The other day Tim Robbins visited the Jeopardy set and demanded a crack at Jennings. Trebek tried to calm him down and explained that he could only be on celebrity Jeopardy. Robbins immediately punched Trebek in the gut shawshank style. Trebek instantly countered with a redemption roundhouse kick to Robbins skull and he fell to the ground. Then Trebek kicked Robbins in the gut, but Tim grabbed his foot and pulled Alex to the ground and punched him straight in the face. Alex then cracked Robbins across the face with his knuckles and shot him into the air with his legs. Robbins lands in a pile of Jennings fan mail dazed and confused. Then Trebek gets up and pulls out his whiskey flask to take a swig. As he walks away he says, "Screw you Robbins. You want to be a fool and go up against Jennings then be my guest". While recovering from Trebeks blows Tim dials up Susan Sarandon on his cell phone to get moral support. He then finds Jennings on the set behind Trebeks podium saying, "Welcome to Jeopardy I'm you host Ken Jennings". He spots Robbins coming towards him and faces him. Robbins tells Ken what he thinks of him and how he could beat him so easily. Ken obviously pissed that his private time on the set was disturbed grabs a Schnapps bottle from Trebeks secret liquor cabinet and breaks it over Robbins head as he says, "Beat this you big bastard". Robbins now on the ground begins to get up and tries to go after Jennings but Ken holds his hand up and says, "No". Tim inexplicably can't move and is frozen in position until Ken is out of sight. After that Tim realizes the power he is up against and immediately leaves the studio and runs home to tell Susan of his run in with Ken.
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The Chucks Vigilante Group is now showing an interest in Ken as new possible member to join them in the fight for global justice. |
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they can control him. He keeps paying his taxes so they leave him alone. Some
scientists predict that at his current rate of development his consciousness
will become to great for his biological brain and within the next few decades he
will merge with the pure thought structure of our universe. The real question is
will he simply merge or will he overtake and dominate it. In essence becoming
the universe. Ken has stated if this happens then he will clean up this cease
pool and bring us a perfect paradise. Many theologians question if God would
indeed allow this to occur or would Jennings ever expanding consciousness
actually overwhelm him. When asked about this Ken has said that he would not
willingly want to edge out the Lord but if his consciousness were to expand
infinitely he would not be able to stop. Ken and many of the greatest minds of
our time say that there can be only one infinite consciousness in the universe.
These are the perplexing issues that mankind must now wrestle with in this
exciting time in our history. The era of Ken Jennings.
beating, and tripping up these fools left and right occasionally pole vaulting
over them to gain a new battle advantage. More and more law enforcement
officials kept coming onto the set numbering close to 100 as Ken continued to
fight valiantly. One of them got in a lucky pepper spray in Ken's eyes and he
was tackled to the ground as they all piled on top of him. Then Trebek took a
bull horn and said, "Ken the judges are now considering a disqualification
here and that would be the end of your winning streak." At that point Ken
mustered up all his strength and all the guards and police were thrown in the
air and landed all around him. At this point I would love to say that he flew
away and crashed right through the ceiling of the studio, but instead he
extended his hand in front of him and said, "STOP! I'm done now and I am
ready to resume Jeopardy." He then calmly walks back behind his console and
picks up his buzzer. Ken then says, "Alex you fought well and I apologize
for my outburst." Trebek replies with, "Outburst! My God man you call
that an outburst! I'd hate to see what you'd call a real fight. Well I guess
other than a few missing teeth no harm has been done." Trebek takes a final
swig from his nearly empty whiskey bottle and returns to his podium placing the
bottle back in his secret liquor cabinet. The Jeopardy officials then appease
the law enforcement as Trebek motions the guards to leave. You can clearly see
cash being doled out to the various police as the other 2 contestants are
ushered back out to resume play. Both of them leaning as far to their left side
as they can. Amazingly Ken fought carefully enough to keep studio damage to a
minimum so the game was ready to resume within minutes. I'm sure they cut that
out to fit the whole game in, but I think this warranted the game being
postponed until the next day. To show this footage would have boosted Jeopardy
to the number 1 rated show of all time. Naturally I would expect them to edit
out the police being bribed not to press charges against Ken. Rumors are
floating about that Ken and Alex were seen at a local tavern that night knocking
back several shots of whiskey so I assume all is forgiven between them.
Especially with the unconfirmed reports of them fighting side by side and taking
out a local group of gangbangers who started heckling Ken as they were walking
back to the Jeopardy limo.
Despite
the fact that 
